Inbok for @sticksandbones

[missinglink]

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[missinglink]

[Haha oh boy we're discussing Theology, alright.

Link adjusts his hands in his lap, watching Allen carefully as he talks. Yes, they've both...experienced some things, and have had some revelations that have thrown their respective faith in to question. Link in particular has been struggling with himself mentally, not just with his faith, but with his whole...purpose for existing?

Yeah.

His expression becomes solemn as Allen continues on, and for a moment it seems like he isn't going to say anything at all.]

And so have the Order.

[He replies simply.]

At what point is it our place to judge, when none of us are truly innocent in this war?

[godsfavourite]

[ Well, good to know Link is on his side a bit here, but Yikes Oof Ow Ouch- ]

...That's war, right? Just... in general?

But, I... I think that the souls attached to the Akuma- they never asked for this. They never asked to be-

...

You've never told me your thoughts about it, though. You tend to keep to yourself about stuff like that. Do you hate it, too?

[missinglink]

[Another pause follows with Link exhaling a slow sigh through his nose.]

I was orphaned as a child. I never knew my parents, but as I grew older I just assumed I must have lost them to the Akuma. Most of the other children on the streets like us had lost theirs the exact same way. It's difficult not to think sometimes about how our lives may have been if the Akuma didn't exist.

[Every single one of them would be different. There's really no point in speculating like that, but even so...]

...I despise the Akuma. But not for what they are. It's for what they've been created to do. They are abominations that should not exist, period. You have a unique perspective into their souls that most of us cannot see and are, perhaps, grateful we cannot. It makes it easier to divorce ourselves from what we're actually doing.

[godsfavourite]

...I've become reliant on it, to a point. [ He reaches up, rubbing the lines of the scar under his eye. ] You weren't around, but there was a time briefly, it was healing, and I couldn't use this eye. It made me... so aware that I didn't... have an intuition for these sorts of things. I blindly trusted people for so long because I had blatant visuals of those I shouldn't.

So when I lost that, I questioned myself, I questioned everyone, and there was a brief time I thought that without my eye, I couldn't love humanity.

[ He pulls his hand away, setting them both in his lap again. ]

...And maybe that's the real curse? Whatever the case... I... don't want to see any kind of suffering. Be that the souls of the Akuma, or... you, or anyone else.

[missinglink]

[Oh, Allen...]

I know you don't. It's because you're a good person.

[Link drops his head back against his chair for a moment, eyes closing.]

You want to see the good in everyone, right? And you believe that humanity is inherently good.

[The way Link says that...kiiindof suggests he may not think the same way, but given how he was raised, it would make sense.]

I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing. If hope were to die, we would lose the war and life would cease to exist as we know it. I think you're in a unique position, in that you can see both sides.

...in that, you're right. It is a curse.

[godsfavourite]

Oh, I wouldn’t go that far, love. A “good person” doesn’t immediately lose his love for people if he can’t see if they’re infernal or not at a glance.

[ He tries to laugh it off, like it’s just a silly joke, and not something that seriously weighs on him. ]

Unfortunately, it seems I’m in the unique position to see the perspectives of a lot. Only side I can’t see is God’s, and that’s the one I feel I need most…

…

Have you ever prayed, Li?

[missinglink]

[Link doesn't really want to think about a world where Allen isn't good, but he understands where he's coming from nonetheless. It's definitely not a silly haha, he gets it.

Mm.]

I have. I've often prayed for guidance, or for God to guide our hands in our work.

[godsfavourite]

…What does His guidance look like?

[godsfavourite]

…I’ll do better next time, I promise.

[ Tim makes munching sounds as he eats the toast from the wall. Helping :) keeping house clean! For babies. ]

[missinglink]

[...]

This is just my opinion, but...when things work out. Somehow, against all odds, things work out the way they were meant to.

[missinglink]

[Thank you Tim. Tim gets a pat pat on the head for his efforts before Link puts the pan down, then takes a slight step to the side.]

I want you to dip the next piece and start cooking it by yourself. I'll watch, but you'll only improve if you practice.

[godsfavourite]

…Do you…

[ He begins, but shuts up immediately after, like he’s unsure of what he wants to ask. There’s a lot Link probably thinks about him right now, being both so uncomfortably close to divinity due to Apocryphos’ meddling, yet also so uneducated in faith. He flexes his hand, opening and closing it into a fist as he thinks. ]

Do you think there’s a world where God didn’t want this? Where ‘the Heart’ got out of hand, even for Him?

[missinglink]

[Link is silent for a long few moments, and it's hard to tell whether he can't come up with an answer, or...if he's not sure it's responsible to even answer a question like that. Even if it's speculation, or just giving his own opinion...why give Allen false hope?]

Yes. I do.

[He pauses again, then looks out the window as he continues.]

There are some people who believe that prayer will answer all things. That God will provide you with the answers, and the healing...but that isn't how God works.

I believe that God will provide you with the tools you need. The opportunity. The ability. But he isn't one to just give the solution. He...

[...]

It's up to us, humanity, to take what we are given and make the kind of world we want to live in. The problem is that we are...flawed, and the road to Hell is paved with good intentions. The Order is a perfect example of just that. This idea that we must sacrifice so much for a better tomorrow.

I can't claim to know what God's plan for the Heart is. All I do know is that we cannot control the pieces that have been left for us to deal with from thousands of years ago. The best we can do is pick them up, and try to put them together.

[godsfavourite]

[ … All Allen can think there is something along the lines of “then he shouldn’t have given us his Will”.

But he doesn’t. For Link’s sake. He just puts on a small smile. ]

…Sorry, I know that isn’t a fun line of conversation. I appreciate you indulging me, anyway. It isn’t like we get a lot of time to talk about stuff like this back home.

[missinglink]

It's alright. My opinions on faith typically don't often come up...it's refreshing to be able to talk about it frankly, like this.

[You know, without the threat of being considered someone who's defecting or questioning things or w/e. He doesn't know.]

...It's just been difficult to know what to believe, anymore.

[godsfavourite]

[ Well, yeah. The divine is supposed to be hard to understand, and as such, makes "faith" really hard. It's hard to believe in "just trust me, bro", y'know??? Of course, Allen just laughs. ]

No way, I wouldn't say that. There's still plenty of stuff to believe! [ Allen knows that isn't what Link meant, but he's trying to fix the mood a bit. ] For starters, I believe in you!

[missinglink]

[Link doesn't move, but his eyes do, flicking up to meet Allen's for a moment.]

Me? I wouldn't have blamed you if you didn't...after everything you've been through.

[godsfavourite]

I... I am a little sad you last trust in me briefly, but I understand why it happened. [ Tokusa and the other Thirds... they're important to Link. More than that, he feels responsible for how they turned out. And Allen is well aware of this much, which is why he doesn't press it more than that. ] But I think we've ended up patching any valleys we've had with spectacular peaks, personally.

[missinglink]

[Hah...Link huffs on a soft laugh under his breath at that, his expression managing to soften, if only a little.]

You really are something else, Allen Walker. Not many are as easy or quick to forgive as you are.

[godsfavourite]

It's not my ability to forgive here that has made me believe in you, Link. I'm really not as forgiving as you think. [ You are, but go off, Allen. ] It's just... you care a lot. And I admire that about you.

So of course I'm going to forgive someone with a heart like yours.

[missinglink]

[Allen you really are giving him WAY too much credit here...even though he appreciates it, genuinely.

Of course, now he's a little flustered due to all of the praise...]

You should be speaking for yourself. You have the biggest heart of anyone I've ever known.

[godsfavourite]

Don't "no, you" me, Li!!! [ He playfully punches his shoulder. ]

You should give yourself more credit.

[missinglink]

[No it's too late he already did it-

He's smiling, though. And look! It's actually reaching his eyes, which is a rare as hell feat for someone as stoic as Link is.]

You're not just saying that because I cook your food, are you? You know you have no reason to butter me up.

[godsfavourite]

Shoulda said so sooner~ I would've stopped ages ago if you promised me more food.

[ He kicks his legs as he laughs. ]

I jest, of course. Would make anyone proper blind if the only good thing they saw about you was your food. Especially when you smile like that! That might be your real number one trait.

[missinglink]

[Link has to pause for a moment, because his chest feels. Weird. Like a tight weird?

Oh god is he having a heart attack. Take a breath, you're fine. It's probably stress or something.]

You're...too nice to me.

[He huffs, crossing his legs at the ankles.]

...but. Thank you. I do appreciate the compliment.

And...your trust in me.