[ Tim is crunching. He seems to be having a delightful time- ]
Of course! We'll have to make some food for Kanda. Otherwise, he's going to turn into a bowl of soba noodles, I think.
[ Allen mentions this offhandedly as he grabs another egg, throwing his hand up and bringing it down to crack the egg against the counter. But when he brings his hand down, there's no egg???? Where did the egg go? Did he forget to grab an egg? His ADHD would do that, he thinks? Did he put it down?????????? Somewhere?
He looks around, until he realizes there's just... yolk. Right on Link's cheek.
Link stands there motionless as the egg and shells slide down his face, because Allen very much just lost the egg on the backswing and threw it into his face. He blinks a few times as the yolk slowly drips off him and plops onto the floor.
Good Lord they're making such a mess.]
A...little less force, next time.
[He says with an alarming amount of patience as he grabs the same cloth from before to wipe egg off his face.]
[And they can always get more eggs, it's all gucci. Link decides to not interfere, wanting Allen to have the rest of the eggs to see if he can break one one-handed at least one time.]
Remember, break the egg gently on a flat surface. Then, press your thumb against the bottom edge of the crack and pull the halves apart, using your other fingers for leverage. It should come open with enough force without any shells getting in the bowl.
[ Allen grabs the carton of eggs from the side where the eggs are not. This is a mistake because gravity exists. He just watches as the carton flops from his hand and splatters the last two eggs on the floor.
[And just like that, they had no eggs left. To be fair, a LOT of them made it into the bowl- plenty for breakfast- and Tim is making sure they don't have a mess to clean up, but...oops.
Link purses his lips as he closes the carton and sets it aside, bending down to pat Allen on the back.]
...that's alright. We can get some more eggs after breakfast. If you don't mind having more eggs for dinner, I can show you how to make a Quiche and we can practice the technique some more.
[ Great news! Allen doesn't suck with this. It's hard to fuck up bacon. The pan does eventually spit at him when the Grease becomes an issue, but Allen has the sense to move it off the burner before flipping the bacon so he doesn't burn himself.
Unfortunately, the stove is covered in spittle of grease from where the pan spits it out, but, uh, such is life. ]
Link finishes mixing the eggs, then gestures to the bread once Allen finishes with the bacon.]
Alright, take a piece and dip each side well into the eggs. Don't let it get too soggy, but make sure it's in the mixture long enough to get saturated. Turn on another pan and brown them on both sides.
[ Again, he does as instructed, looking to Link occasionally as if to say “like this?” When he plops the toast into a new pan, he’s practically just staring at it. ]
How will I know when to flip it? Does it get smaller, like the bacon?
[Link shakes his head, picking up a spatula so he can show him.]
While the egg cooks, it will start to brown on the bottom. You can lift up the edges gently to check. Once it's browned, but not burned, you flip. Give it about the same amount of time on the other side and it should be done.
Egg cooks fast, so be careful not to forget and let it burn.
But it's so... floppy from the egg mixture. It's a little hard to put the spatula under it. Why can't the French just put beans on their toast and call it good?
Well, beans on toast is a completely different dish...
[Link shakes his head a little, taking the spatula for a moment so he can show Allen what he means.]
You don't need to check it right away. Give it a minute or two, then nudge the edges with the spatula to see if the bread has gotten a little hard. Usually by then it's good to flip.
[ …!!!!!!!!!! Allen looks to Link with practically all the stars in his eyes. ]
How did you do that??? [ Gestures to the pan, before he takes the plate of food. He’s going to get a fork, at least, before he pigs out. ] Without the flipper? [ Spatula. ]
[He sidesteps a little so Allen can take the pan.]
You want to tilt the pan and let the bread slide to the edge. Then you just use your wrist to bump the pan and cause the toast to flip. You want to use a rocking motion with the pan, and not too hard or you’ll have toast on the ceiling.
[ Excitedly, Allen grabs the pan. He steadies his hands on the handle and pokes his tongue out in that way that says he’s concentrating real hard. He gently tries to flip the toast with a little flip of his wrist. To his credit, he does not get hot butter everywhere, or on either of them.
He does, however, manage to get French toast stuck on the nearby wall.
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missinglink) wrote2026-03-08 10:39 pm
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Of course! We'll have to make some food for Kanda. Otherwise, he's going to turn into a bowl of soba noodles, I think.
[ Allen mentions this offhandedly as he grabs another egg, throwing his hand up and bringing it down to crack the egg against the counter. But when he brings his hand down, there's no egg???? Where did the egg go? Did he forget to grab an egg? His ADHD would do that, he thinks? Did he put it down?????????? Somewhere?
He looks around, until he realizes there's just... yolk. Right on Link's cheek.
Talk about "egg on my face"- ]
Uh- Wh- How am I so bad at this?
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Link stands there motionless as the egg and shells slide down his face, because Allen very much just lost the egg on the backswing and threw it into his face. He blinks a few times as the yolk slowly drips off him and plops onto the floor.
Good Lord they're making such a mess.]
A...little less force, next time.
[He says with an alarming amount of patience as he grabs the same cloth from before to wipe egg off his face.]
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This is turning out horribly. There's only three left. He's... got this. It's fine.
This one at least ends up in the bowl, but it's also like 15% shell, so. Is he getting worse? He thinks he's getting worse- ]
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[And they can always get more eggs, it's all gucci. Link decides to not interfere, wanting Allen to have the rest of the eggs to see if he can break one one-handed at least one time.]
Remember, break the egg gently on a flat surface. Then, press your thumb against the bottom edge of the crack and pull the halves apart, using your other fingers for leverage. It should come open with enough force without any shells getting in the bowl.
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........................................................
While Timcanpy eats the eggs off the floor, Allen slowly lowers himself to the floor.
And just lays on it face down.
Don't look at him- ]
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[And just like that, they had no eggs left. To be fair, a LOT of them made it into the bowl- plenty for breakfast- and Tim is making sure they don't have a mess to clean up, but...oops.
Link purses his lips as he closes the carton and sets it aside, bending down to pat Allen on the back.]
...that's alright. We can get some more eggs after breakfast. If you don't mind having more eggs for dinner, I can show you how to make a Quiche and we can practice the technique some more.
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Yeah...? I'd like that. [ Sniff. ] Please don't be upset with me if I haven't improved yet. I promise I'm trying...
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[He stands back upright, pulling out a whisk so he can start beating the eggs.]
Come on. Kanda will be through with his meditation soon, so let's get breakfast done before then.
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What... can I do to help? [ He can... put butter in the pan...! He isn't sure that's the most helpful thing to do here. ]
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Link hands Allen a skillet, then nods to the strips of bacon still in the package on the counter.]
Can you start to cook these while I get the mixture going for the toast? They should fry up pretty quickly, just flip them once they start to shrink.
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Unfortunately, the stove is covered in spittle of grease from where the pan spits it out, but, uh, such is life. ]
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Link finishes mixing the eggs, then gestures to the bread once Allen finishes with the bacon.]
Alright, take a piece and dip each side well into the eggs. Don't let it get too soggy, but make sure it's in the mixture long enough to get saturated. Turn on another pan and brown them on both sides.
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How will I know when to flip it? Does it get smaller, like the bacon?
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While the egg cooks, it will start to brown on the bottom. You can lift up the edges gently to check. Once it's browned, but not burned, you flip. Give it about the same amount of time on the other side and it should be done.
Egg cooks fast, so be careful not to forget and let it burn.
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[Link shakes his head a little, taking the spatula for a moment so he can show Allen what he means.]
You don't need to check it right away. Give it a minute or two, then nudge the edges with the spatula to see if the bread has gotten a little hard. Usually by then it's good to flip.
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[ Impatiently, he watches the toast, nudging it with the spatula every like 5 seconds— ]
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[He instructs, placing his hand against the spatula handle just briefly to stay it. If his fingers touch Allen's that's between him and God.]
Just have a little patience. It will be worth it.
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His stomach growls, and he puts his hand over it as he impatiently shifts his weight from foot to foot. ]
You said this wouldn't take... that long, right?
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Few more minutes on the other side, then it will be done. We have a lot of toast to make, but you can go ahead and start eating while I cook the rest.
[In fact, he'll go ahead and grab a plate now, putting some bacon on it before sliding the toast on once it's good and crispy.]
We have honey and syrup.
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How did you do that??? [ Gestures to the pan, before he takes the plate of food. He’s going to get a fork, at least, before he pigs out. ] Without the flipper? [ Spatula. ]
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[He flips the toast again. Higher this time. It flips a couple times in midair before it comes back down on the right side. Show off.]
It takes some practice, and you have to be careful if it’s something really hot.
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Can you teach me that, too?!
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[He sidesteps a little so Allen can take the pan.]
You want to tilt the pan and let the bread slide to the edge. Then you just use your wrist to bump the pan and cause the toast to flip. You want to use a rocking motion with the pan, and not too hard or you’ll have toast on the ceiling.
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He does, however, manage to get French toast stuck on the nearby wall.
…
He silently hands the pan back to Link— ]
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